Alone: Thoughts

“This much should be understood from the beginning: that above everything else… I really wanted to go for the experience’s sake… to be by [myself] for a while and to taste peace and quiet and solitude long enough to find out how good they really are.”

I had no difficulty at all relating to Richard Byrd’s desires for solitude, being somewhat of a solitary man myself. What intrigued me, however, was his desire to seek his solitude in one of the most dangerous places on earth, the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica. I came to know this incredible corner of the world while reading “The Worst Journey in the World” which we will get to later in the Man’s Book Club (seriously one of the most amazing books I’ve ever read). I was eager to go back with Admiral Byrd. It was fascinating to read about his little hut that they buried in the snow, how they filled his supply tunnels with food and fuel, and then how they turned around and drove away, leaving him to face the arctic winter alone. He shares his thoughts from his first night:

“About 1 o’clock in the morning, just before turning in, I went topside for a look around. The night was spacious and fine. Numberless stars crowded the sky. I had never seen so many. You had only to reach up and fill your hands with the bright pebbles… And all this was mine: the stars, the constellations, even the earth as it turned on its axis. If great inward peace and exhilaration can exist together, then this, I decided my first night alone, was what should possess the senses.”

Little did he know the trials that awaited him.

For me, the most intense part of the story was when Byrd accidentally locked himself outside at night during a blizzard. Actually, more than just being locked out, his door was frozen shut and nothing he could do would open it. 

“Panic took me then, I must confess. Reason fled. I clawed at the three-foot square of timber like a madman. I beat on it with my fists, trying to shake the snow loose; and, when that did no good, I lay flat on my belly and pulled until my hands went weak from cold and weariness. Then I crooked my elbow, put my face down, and said over and over again, You damn fool, you damn fool. Here for weeks I had been defending myself against the danger of being penned inside the shack; instead, I was now locked out; and nothing could be worse, especially since I had only a wool parka and pants under my windproofs. Just two feet below was sanctuary—warmth, food, tools, all the means of survival. All these things were an arm’s length away, but I was powerless to reach them.”

Byrd would surely have died within 30 minutes, with temperatures at 65 degrees below zero and the storm pounding down on him. He only managed to survive by stumbling onto a shovel that had been left outside earlier that day. With this he was able to pry open his door and escape to the protection of his hut (where it was a much balmier negative 20 degrees).

A month or so after this incident Byrd would come even closer to losing his life. The accident that crippled him, and which brought him within an inch of death, occurred during a routine radio contact with his companions at Little America. He had failed to clear the exhaust pipes for his generator and was knocked out by carbon monoxide poisoning. For the next two months he hovered between this life and the next, unable to help himself and unwilling to ask his team for help, lest they risk a rescue attempt in the black of winter. In the end, Byrd was able to pull through, though it would be two more months after his friends came to his aide before he would be able to make the journey back himself.

From this period of utter isolation Byrd shares several gems of wisdom that he was able to work out while facing his own mortality.

“If I had never seen a watch and should see one for the first time, I should be sure its hands were moving according to some plan and not at random. Nor does it seem any more reasonable for me to conceive that the precision and order of the universe is the product of blind chance. This whole concept is summed up in the word harmony. For those who seek it, there is inexhaustible evidence of an all-pervading intelligence.”

“The universe was a cosmos, not a chaos; man was as rightfully a part of that cosmos as were the day and night.”

“A man’s moments of serenity are few, but a few will sustain him a lifetime. I found my measure of inward peace then; the stately echoes lasted a long time.”

And this last one that I love.

“Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used.”

Though Byrd’s adventure turned out far different than he had originally planned, he certainly found the solitude that he went searching for. Though for him it turned out to be more like solitary confinement. He was lucky to escape with his life. I know that if I ever plan to spend a winter at the bottom of the world, I’m taking someone with me!

My rating: 7 out of 10